Denpasar (Bali) Airport Customs Adventure

I landed in Bali three days ago. Because I’m an ASEAN passport holder I didn’t have to through the long visa-on arrival line queue. Everything went well and I even met a cheerful Indonesian-Australian lady who has giving me tips on where to go.

Custom declarations came and submitted my non-declaration form. It was my lucky day. One of the custom officers decided to do a random check on me. This was fine and dandy because that’s their job. Although, I did feel a bit being singled out or you may say “racially profiled”.  I was the only little brown Asian amongst a sea of Caucasian holiday makers.

Anyhoo, the customs started going through my bags. This time my fears were confirmed, the custom officer is a douchebag. He kept going through my stuff and asking me “what is this for?” when the items he has been looking at are so goddamn OBVIOUS and self explanatory. Like the cotton balls, and then my toiletries such as shampoo, moisturizers, lotions etc. When dealing with the customs and immigration one must be cool, calm and collected.

Then I was swabbed. Fun times. Swabbing is a method they use for detecting tiny traces of drugs in your hands or luggage. All my lovely little tiny fingers were swabbed and my 3 luggages of kikay stuff, of course resulted to a negative. I thought I was getting a free manicure. Free manicure! What a country!

The most annoying thing that he did was, take out the clear plastic bag of my underwear and had the tenacity to ask me and grin: “what is this?”. I just smiled and chuckled but my thought bubbles were saying “You haven’t seen a freakin’ bra before?”

Mr. X suddenly picked up this retractable ballpoint pen keychain from one of my bags. He was intrigued. He snapped the pen and hooked it in his pocket shirt and smiling like “this-looks-good-on-my-pocket-isn’t-it.”. So like I have no choice really but to give him the pen. I was lovely and polite (damn Asians why do you have to be always polite!) and said ‘if you want it, it’s yours.” 

You know of all the stupidest crimes one can commit it is trying to transport drugs thorough an airport. There is an 80% chance probability you will get caught. Unless of course, you are a certain congressman from the Philippines.  How many security checks you have to go through in an airport?  The canine sniffing dogs and several x-rays?  It doesn’t make sense. Well drug trafficking doesn’t make sense in itself!

Anyway, I know customs is only doing their job. It’s their job to be suspicious. But this people need to learn how to respect genuine tourists. There was no absolute need to wave my clear bag of underwear in the air, noh?